Harem Master Hyoudou
by ireadeverything
Summary: Issei Hyoudou is doubtlessly a pervert obsessed with harems and oppai. The question is, what's his source material? Currently a one-shot, may update further.
1. Before School

**Issei Hyoudou is doubtlessly a pervert obsessed with harems and oppai. The question is, what's his source material?**

 **I present to you...**

 **Harem Master Hyoudou!**

* * *

"Goodbye, Akimitsu-sensei!"

The named Akimitsu chuckled good-naturedly as one of his most energetic students ran off from the Chinese Kenpo dojo. He waved back, smiling with his eyes shut, reminiscent of a certain gray-haired ninja. Except that, you know, he had black hair. And it was styled to the side. And he was wearing a gi.

But hey, at least it his expression was kinda similar?

Regardless, Murasane Akimitsu is not the focus of our story. No, he is just one of the many acquaintances our main character has. That main character who, at this moment, was running away from the dojo with a smile on his face. One certain Issei Hyoudou.

Now, many people have many different reasons for learning martial arts. Some are pressured by their parents, some want to fight, and some want to do a sport that isn't school-based. Some want to make use of their excess energy, and some merely want to be a manga protagonist.

Issei Hyoudou falls into the last category.

* * *

There was a clack as Issei opened the wooden door to his (fairly plain) house.

As he entered the house and took off his shoes, he called out, "I'm home!"

There were two muffled responses - one from each of his parents - welcoming him back inside. Issei quickly raced to his room and shut the door behind him. He locked it.

Now, this very room contains the reason that our Issei, _this_ Issei, is just that little bit different from all the others in the multiverse.

Primarily, if someone were to look into Issei's room, they would first notice the manga (and visual novels) everywhere. Shelves of them covered the walls - all arranged meticulously by series and volume, obviously - and there were some strewn on the bed and night table.

Because Issei was a manga _fanatic_.

However, while this explained much, the real crux of Issei's personality and dreams could be attested to only by someone who was also an avid manga reader.

 _Mahou Sensei Negima. Sekirei. Rosario x Vampire. History's Strongest Disciple Kenichi. Fate/Stay Night. DanMachi. Others (that will go unmentioned for the safety of the few children reading this)_

Yes, as you may or may not be able to tell, most of Issei's collection were battle manga. Most had an Ecchi rating. However, the real clincher was the fact that _they were all harems. Every single one._ _Even the H-manga._

 _Especially_ the H-manga.

Again, this is typical for any universe's Issei Hyoudou. But what was different about this incarnation was that Issei didn't just want to _have_ a harem. He wanted to _earn_ his harem. Besides merely reading about various harems, he _learned_ from them.

From _Mahou Sensei Negima_ he learned that a real man will fight in front of his girls.

From _Sekirei_ he learned that you need to have the will, the desire to protect those you hold dear.

From _Rosario x Vampire_ he learned that even the weakest, most typical human can grow into something worthwhile.

From _History's Strongest Disciple Kenichi_ he learned to never give up, even while facing indomitable odds.

From _Fate/Stay Night_ he learned that sometimes it just takes real effort to become something amazing.

From _DanMachi_ he learned that sometimes love can power you to become stronger that much faster.

Issei had taken in all these messages, whether they were messages intended by the authors or not. He had personally decided to _create_ his harem, rather than letting it simply form.

On that high note, he collapsed in bed to take a nap. Martial Arts are tiring, after all.

"Oh Rias-senpai, you want a turn with Akeno-senpai? But I was just about to 'do' her... I guess Katase-chan is looking lonely, though. Ufufufu... I'm coming, Katase-chaaaaaaaannn!"

...Let it be known that Issei had a major case of perverted sleep talking.

...Scratch that, Issei had a major case of perverted existence.

And so he slept with sweet dreams.

Later that night Issei had a calm, relaxing dinner with his family before he went off to bed for good. However, this entire series of events was, to be completely honest, uneventful and boring to listen to. Dinner was curry rice and some side dishes. Yay.

* * *

 **The Next Morning**

"Hello Murayama-chan, Katase-chan!"

Issei ran up to the two leaders of the Kendo club from behind, waving his arm over his head with a smile on his face.

"Issei-kun?" questioned Murayama as she spun on one foot to look at him. Katase also spun, but merely raised an eyebrow instead.

Issei slowed down from his jog as he approached them and kept his smile up. "How are both of you ladies doing on this fine morning?"

Katase took out a shinai from... somewhere... and bopped Issei on the head with a slightly exasperated look on her face. "Issei-san, you shouldn't be so informal with us. You should call me 'san'. If you keep calling me 'Katase-chan' and calling me a lady so casually, some people might get the wrong idea."

Issei kept up his smile while inside he was laughing evilly. _Mwahahahaha! She raised the flag! I've been completing countless eroges just for this moment!_

His smile turned even more innocent after that. "Ehhh? But Katase-chan is very important to me, so why shouldn't I call her Katase-chan? Plus, you always seem so refined and pretty, how can I not call you a lady?"

 _Harem member, obtained!_

Katase's face took on a blush as she started fidgeting. "Why do you have to go and say things like that Issei-kun? If you keep it up, I'll... I'll..." she looked away, her blush increasing in size from embarrassment.

Murayama was more or less stationary through this, although she was gaining a bigger and bigger pout as it took place. As soon as Katase fell silent, she grabbed Issei's arm on the other side to catch his attention.

"Issei-kun, don't you also think I'm important to you?" She said, her arms held in front of here, hands clasped together below her waist. This also pressed her oppai together.

 _Opportunity!_

He smiled at her. "Of course! You also always have a special place in my heart, Murayama-chan."

 _Critical Hit! It's super effective..._

He could almost here the sound a pokemon fainting.

"Yay!" Murayama gave him a side-hug and pulled his arm into her. Specifically, between her oppai. Katase saw this and glared at Murayama slightly, before hesitantly taking Issei's other arm and nervously hugging it.

And thus, Issei walked into the next day in Kuoh Academy with a girl on either arm. He tried not to die from blood loss a la nosebleed.

* * *

"Bastard..."

"Who does he think he is?"

"Casually walking in with two girls..."

"Kiba was bad enough, but he's never made a move like this..."

"Issei, you..."

Issei walked in, calm as a cucumber. Which is to say, not calm at all, because cucumbers don't have emotions. Really, they don't. Don't believe the media, cucumbers _are not_ people too.

Now we're off the topic, which was Issei's lack of being calm.

At least his outward facade was steady. Kind of.

Inside was where the real turmoil was. Murayama and Katase were flipping between glaring at each other and smiling at him. Eagerly in Murayama's case, and shyly in Katase's.

 _This is it, isn't it? My relationships have finally progressed to this point! This is the 'competition' phase, where the girls fight over me, right? How do I move this onto the 'acceptance' phase? Agghhh, I studied too much for school and not enough in eroge!_

His twitching eyebrow and slightly shaky smile were the only indications Issei was at all worried about something. Unfortunately, to two trained and experienced kendoists who needed to constantly observe and anticipate movements from opponents, both Murayama and Katase noticed his nervousness. Neither was stupid, and both heard the whispering around them.

 _Wait! This may be just the flag I want!_

Note that while Issei wasn't actually concerned with the outside auras of malice radiating from the people around him, the two girls on his arms had no way of knowing that.

Both of the girls looked up from their glaring match and took a quick survey of all the scowling males around them. They then looked back to each other and nodded, suddenly determined. Both subtly drew their bokken - bamboo practice swords for Kendo - and waited for a moment. Issei took a step back.

Then the carnage began, as both girls fell upon the unsuspecting jealous males with much wrath.

Issei just stood their and sweatdropped with his awkward smile still in place.

 _I'm kinda happy that they activated the 'work together against outside forces' flag without my input, but..._

He looked at the screaming, crying, and apologizing teenage boys who fallen to Murayama and Katase's swords.

 _Will I really be alright?_

* * *

 **Welp, that's the first chapter. Maybe a tad short. I'll try to update as much as possible, but I don't know. I want to continue this story, but I have this horrible knack for losing momentum really early on. There may be 3 more chapters, there may be 20 more chapters. There may be no more chapters.**

 **That being said, if any of you like the idea of a genre-savvy, slightly-prepared, more-aware Issei, feel free to steal it. Feel free to steal this chapter. Feel free to write your own. All I ask is that you at least put in an "This story is based off of ireadeverything's idea."**

 **Finally, I have one request. If you are on a PC (not a mobile, I know how annoying it is to review from mobile), please leave a review. It literally takes 5 seconds. Even if your review is merely "I exist" or "derp". Reviews are reviews!**


	2. Before the First Class

**Issei Hyoudou is doubtlessly a pervert obsessed with harems and oppai. The question is, what's his source material?**

 **I present to you...**

 **Harem Master Hyoudou!**

 **Chapter Two**

* * *

Once Issei entered school, Murayama and Katase de-attached themselves from his arms with an air of disappointment before leaving to their classrooms. He waved and smiled at their retreating forms, and then dropped his hands. He kept his smile up as he looked around for anyone else he could talk to on his way to class. He saw one and called out to her.

"Hey, Yura-chan!"

While Yura Tsubasa was not in his class, she was also a second year and was in the class 2 past his. She was also part of the student council, although he didn't _really_ know why. She was more of a sportsy girl, and while she got good grades she wasn't on the level of Souna-kaichou or Tsubaki-senpai. She seemed like a good - but not exceptional - student.

 _But that ass though..._

Yes, while Tsubasa wasn't the greatest at schoolwork, and while her oppai weren't actually that big comparitively, she was a practical girl - and that was reflected in her body. Large oppai, while attractive, would get in the way of the demanding physical exercise she seemed to enjoy.

No one ever saw Akeno-sempai winning any sprints, after all.

So yes, Tsubasa's smallish oppai fit her tomboyish character. But like a true harem member, she made up for it in other areas. Like her butt. It was toned and small, and...

 _No! No perving over girls that aren't in my harem yet! I must stay true to my beliefs!_

One other thing of note about Yura Tsubasa was her taste in men. She liked seeing guys that got down and dirty. She loved watching the sweat drip from their exhausted bodies. She found it _ungodly attractive_ when a guy would leave practice or gym class sweaty, muddy, and maybe even a little scraped. She liked to see _physical proof_ that a guy wasn't afraid to go down and actually do stuff. So, no bishounen. Sorry Kiba.

It was for this very reason that Yura Tsubasa harbored a slight crush on Issei Hyoudou. He was renowned in Kuoh as being unafraid to get into scrapes to fight for what he believed in, and had walked into school covered in bruises and scratches a few times throughout the year. And then there was that one time a girl had left her art supplies outside on a rainy day, and he fearlessly ran through the rain to rescue them from getting overly damaged. Needless to say, his clothes were unwearable afterwords from all the mud that was splashed on them.

This lead to Issei being hailed across Kuoh academy as "The Honorable Pervert." He was a far cry from the Pervert Duo who shamelessly peeped on girls; nay, Issei Hyoudou actually stopped and turned in the cowardly duo multiple times! Indeed, while Issei wholeheartedly admitted to being a pervert, he also had a strict policy for not perving on 3D girls that weren't in a relationship with him. In fact, his declared dream of having a harem was met with more indulging giggles than it was sneering disgust.

Back to our newest heroine...

Tsubasa, still blushing slightly, replied to Issei. In the event that you've already forgotten, he had just greeted her with a familiar "Hey, Yura-chan!"

She didn't even turn around. Instead, she merely slowed down a bit and Issei fell into step beside her. Once he had done so, albeit with slight panting, she gave a small twist of her head and smiled at him.

"Hello Issei-san. How are you today?"

Now, keep in mind that while Yura held a crush on Issei, she still had an image to uphold. A member of the student council has to represent the school at all times; polite and calm, even when facing the object of their hidden desires.

And thus, Yura did not call Issei "Issei-kun" or "Houdou-kun", instead using the more polite - yet still familiar - "Issei-san."

"I'm doing well, Yura-chan. I think I've almost got two new girls into my harem!"

She smiled politely, but there was mistaking the Aura of Pain (copyrighted 1997) around her that had the hallway's other occupants backing away in fear.

"Issei-san, what have I told you about girls and how to treat them?"

He nodded eagerly, ignoring the strange feeling emanating from her smile. "It's alright Yura-chan, I remember." He cleared his throat and mimicked a high, girly voice. "Now Issei-kun, you must always remember to treat girls as people, okay? Don't become like Katsuragi Keima." He went back to his normal voice after that. "It's alright Yura-chan, I didn't mean it like that. What I meant was that I think I've almost finished courting them!"

A sweatdrop formed on Yura's head. _I don't really understand, but okay._

"How has school been for you, Issei-san?"

"Pretty good actually, Yura-chan. By the way, thanks for re-teaching me Law of Cosines! I had forgotten it was going to be on the test."

"It was no trouble at all, Issei-san. Should I take that to mean that you're doing fine in math right now?"

"Yeah, I'm doing okay. How's student council work going?"

Here she craned her head up, looking off into space, and put a finger to her cheek demurely. "Well, we're in a lull as of now, but we all know it won't last. We have parent visiting day, the sports festival, and those other events that we're keeping a secret for now..."

"Ehhh? Kaichou is planning a secret event?" Issei jumped in front of her and looked at her pleadingly. "Can you tell me what it is, Yura-chan?"

She smiled sweetly at him, and pointed to the side. "Issei-san, this is your class, isn't it? You don't want to be late, do you?"

He gave her a deadpan look, because they both knew exactly what she was doing. "I'll retreat for now, Yura-chan, but I _will_ get that information out of you!"

She smiled back and waved once at him. "Have a nice day, Issei-kun!" Turning back to face forward, she started walking to her class when she realized something important.

 _I called him Hyoudou-kun! In public! Where people could hear me!_

She took a quick look around, checking to see if anyone was looking at her strangely. The hallway _seemed_ normal, but...

 _Did he notice? I hope he didn't! That would be so embarrassing!_

* * *

 _She just called me Issei-kun, right? Right? Whooop! She likes me! Mwahahahaha, Issei you glorious bastard! With this, your infiltration of the Student Council will begin! First Yura-chan, then on and on until I reach Tsubaki-senpai and Souna-kaichou! My time is coming!_

"Hey, Issei."

This greeting came in a slightly sarcastic, but still friendly tone that immediately got Issei's attention. He knew the owner of this voice, very well in fact. To be truthful, the voice's owner came from one of the few people in the class

"Oi, Issei. Are you paying attention?"

He greeted the person with a smile.

"Hey, Aika-chan. How're you doing?"

She gave him a smirk in response, then gave him a once-over.

"I see you haven't gotten any smaller. In fact, have you grown a bit?"

Now, most people would find this question strange. After all, why would someone get shorter overnight? Especially as a high school student. But the truth of the matter lay in the fact that Kiriyuu Aika could instantly tell the size of a man's manhood, for lack of a more appropriate-yet-still-specific word, with just a glance. She kept this ability more or less under wraps, though a few of guys confessed to being strangely self-conscious in her presence.

Not Issei though. Both of them knew that he had _nothing_ to be ashamed of in that department.

Now, before we continue onwards, the omniscient narrator has a few words to say, begginning with a timeless quote from US President Obama: "Lemme be clear:" Now, Issei and Kiriyuu Aika was most definitely a girl, and Issei Hyoudou was most definitely a guy, and both were most definitely strait. Issei had plans to make a harem, and Aika viewed Matsu from Sekirei as a good role model.

However, despite this, both of them were firmly in each other's friendzone, and neither desired anything other than that. They weren't even "friends with benefits". End of story. They both talked frequently and hung out, and most of the time their conversations were perverted and sexual in nature. They found each other attractive, if only modestly so, and they even went on "practice dates", which mostly consisted of them sitting in a cafe.

Well, in reality, they sat at a cafe and pointed out people passing by they were attracted to.

So why weren't they "together"?

Mostly, it was due to the fact that they _did_ get along so well. It wasn't like they were afraid of ruining their already existing relationship or anything; nah, they already had enough fun with each other, why complicate something perfectly okay with _romance_?

Sometimes, friends are just that - friends.

Back to the classroom now that that's all cleared up, Aika just asked Issei if his "Mini-Issei" had grown at all.

Issei responded with a pensive look as they walked back to their desks (hers was directly in front of his), and responded as he sat down. "Well, I've been doing plenty of 'excercise', but from what I've found online that doesn't really do all that much. By the way, have you found any new source material for your 'excercise'? Mine's been getting pretty stale lately..."

And the conversation continued in that vein until class started.

* * *

 **Yo! What's up?**

 **Man, do you guys know how _good_ it feels to finally get out a chapter? I've had a pretty harrowing, what, 1 and a half weeks? More? 2? I don't know. I've just started as a counselor at a summer camp; not _legit_ counseling, just watching them and making sure they do no permanent damage, and all that. We've also gone away this weekend ('we' being my family), so yeah. I'm not sure if you should expect faster updates or what, but we'll see.**

 **Another proximate cause for the delayed update would have to be ARK Survival: Evolved. I just got it on Steam, and it's pretty awesome. I've liked dinosaurs since I was a kid.**

 **So, review and respond! Do you guys play ARK? What other games do you guys play? Do you exist? Have any questions, comments, or concerns?**

 **Do you enjoy reading my rather obvious attempts at fishing for reviews? I dunno, it seemed to work last chapter. 17 reviews for 1 chapter! And a chapter less than 2000 words at that! That's absolutely incredible! Thanks!**

 **Also, before we end, do you guys think that should put in a filter for "Words per Chapter"? I mean, there are plenty of good stories which are small right now, but I can't find them because I have to sift through everything less than 10,000 words in order to find those diamonds, and I'm not really looking forward to doing so.**

 **Re-uploaded on 7/8/2015 to fix some spelling errors, grammar mistakes, consistency, and all that good stuff.**

 **See you in the next chapter!**


	3. A Typical Day At School

**So, uh... yeah. This was a thing.**

 **Just so you know, I've more or less moved over to spacebattles for the foreseeable future. It's a forum, look up "Spacebattles creative writing" in order to get there. My penname is Sager Hijinks, and all of this stuff can be found in my idea dump.**

 **I've actually had this chapter over there for a while - I really shoulda moved it earlier. I _do_ plan on putting out chapter 4 real soon, so look forward to that.**

 **Harem Master Hyoudou!**  
Chapter 3 - A Typical Day at School

"Set me up!"

"Un!"

"Horya!"

"Ah! Block it, guys!"

"We're trying!"

"I got it!"

"Issei, the scrubs managed return it!"

"I've got this, Aika!"

"Watch out dudes, he's going for it!"

"SuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuCHAAAAAAA!"

"Ah! The legendary three-meter spike!"

"How does he jump that high?"

"I don't know!"

The ref's whistle blew, signaling that the point went in favor of the left side.

Issei high-fived Aika and let out a breath. "Whew. That got a little intense at the end."

She gave him her signature smirk. "Don't lie, it's unbecoming of you. You're barely even sweating, right?"

He stopped pretending to fan himself with his shirt and returned her smirk with a pout. "Aika, I was going to let them be proud of themselves for a little longer. Plus, the only reason I'm not sweating is because we do much harder work-outs at the dojo. They're doing well, considering the fact that I am the epitome of perfection!" He struck a mock-sentai pose.

"Well, regardless..."

Aika swiveled her head and looked at their opponents in the Physical Education Volleyball finals. They were two jocks, and played American basketball of all things. They had overwhelmed most of the competition because of superior jumping power and fine ball control.

"Let's win this, neh?"

He matched her grin with one of his own. "Sure, let's."

* * *

It was just turning lunchtime, so Issei pulled out a sheet of paper.

"Let's see... yesterday I had lunch in the cafeteria, the day before that I ate here, so today... I'm on the roof. Better bring the bag, then."

* * *

He took out a bento box and a plastic bag, rustling with something inside, and walked to the roof. He opened the door to the top of the building with a serious look on her face. He was met with another far-too-serious look from the other person on the rooftop. He dropped to a knee.

"My liege, your humble servant presents himself at your disposal."

"…Have you brought the goods?"

He tossed the other person the bag and stayed on his knee, looking at the ground as she examined the contents.

"…Acceptable, you may come over."

He looked up with a bright smile on his face and skipped over to the girl, then plopped down next to her. He then picked her up, bag, lunch and all, and plopped her on his lap, overlooking the school.

"Man, Koneko-chan, do we have to do the whole thing _every time_?"

She turned and gave him a blank stare, before pointing to her head. He smacked himself in the forehead for forgetting, then began to pet her. She purred, which was generally more emotion than she exhibited to your average person over an entire day.

"It's… funny… nyaaaaaaa…"

Issei gave an awkward smile. _Yeah, for you maybe!_

"Do you… not like it?"

She was pouting at him! She was genuinely sitting on his lap, he was rubbing her hair, and she was looking up at him and pouting!

Of course, this was Koneko, so the pout was really small, but still. This was basically moe overload.

 _Issei! Control yourself! Oryaa! Fight! Fight!_

"Ah, ha, well… I don't dis-like it, per se…"

"Yay." She went back to her food and started eating again. She even made little "nom" noises every time she bit down on her chopsticks.

 _If Rias-senpai is like the incarnation of sexiness, Koneko-chan is an everflowing fountain of moe!_

Issei was returned, painfully, to reality via the Koneko Cheek Pinch (copyrighted 1998). She was looking at him again, this time with her normal face. "…Are you thinking weird things again?"

He merely smiled down at her and nodded his head. "Yup!"

Her head went down and a little to the side. "…Idiot."

And so they ate lunch.

* * *

"Does anyone know how to solve this problem?"

"Yes, sensei."

"Alright, Issei-kun, how would you solve this?"

"Well, first you have to know the length of side a, so I used triangle similarity theorem to find that. Then I could use Law of Sines to get the total area, and after that it was simply a matter of dividing by the known base, and then you can get the altitude."

"Thank you, you may sit. You see class, while this method is slightly roundabout it uses fairly simple calculations and is thus difficult to mess up. Not exactly how I would have done it, Issei-kun, but very good nonetheless. I would have tried Law of Cosines here…"

"So, class, what's the main idea of this song?"

"Is it… that Beiber is concerned for his child?"

"Not quite, Motohama-san. Does anyone else have a different answer? Kiriyuu-san?"

"…He's talking to his girlfriend?"

"Correct, Kiriyuu-san, 'baby' is an English diminutive for a female companion, but does anyone else have a more specific answer? Hyoudou-san?"

"Umm… is he concerned about breaking up with her?"

"Very nice, Hyoudou-san! Yes, Justin Beiber is indeed singing about…"

* * *

"Okay class, now it's free sculpting time!"

There were quiet exclamations of joy throughout the room. Issei let out a particularly large sigh. It had been a stressful day, and being widely known as a good student didn't help. He was called on in practically every class he had had!

But now it was time to relax. He was in his second year, so this semester his art class was focused on sculpting clay. They had already done a few small projects at the very beginning of the year, so now they simply got to make whatever they wanted. Some people were making pots, some focused on dragons, fake swords, or decorative pieces.

Issei was making bracers, the ones you put on your forearms. He held no illusions about their usefulness in a real fight, but he was making them anyway, because, you know, why not? He was also planning on making some "brass" knuckles if he had the time.

He already had a few fragile, wine-bottle-shaped ceramics that he kept for the sole purpose of smashing over someone's head.

He looked around, checking to see what other people were doing.

Aika was sitting in front of him, applying what was about the fifth coat of clear glaze to the tubular object in front of her. Five layers was far more than strictly necessary, but it would keep the entire thing smoother after kilning.

Due to that rather glaring hint as to her intentions with the tubular, fairly gonad-shaped object in her hands, Issei decided to keep looking around the class.

Atsuki and Hijari were working together on what was really a very really impressive dragon sculpture. It was 3D and everything, about the size of Issei's torso. It was very well detailed, with lots of scaly incisions, deep glaring eyes, and a snarling snout. It would look epic once it was completed and fired.

Yasabura and Temo were sitting next to each other, as usual, and quietly working on what seemed like a set of china. They had blueprints, rulers, casts, and everything. Issei figured that they were planning on actually using the set.

Hikaru was on his lonesum, creating what appeared to be a humongous pile of chopsticks.

Matsuda and Motohama were creating… was that a pair of oppai? Maybe a butt? They weren't the most artistically talented out of the class, to say the least, so it was no surprise that he couldn't tell what they were doing.

Tamachi, Hiro, Chima, Joru, and Tibe were all working on a cart, apparently. Hiro and Tibe were also in the Engineering club, and Tamachi had a reputation about his love for go-carts.

 _I wouldn't be surprised if whatever they make ends up working._

Issei looked down to his bracers and sighed. They were still lopsided and wavy. He would have to flatten them, curve them again, glaze and kiln them before they got messed up again.

 _~Let's get down to business… to defeat...~_

* * *

"Haaaaaaaaa… today was exhausting…"

Issei was walking home after school. He had already said goodbye to all of his lady-friends, but they had clubs today and he didn't, so he walked home alone. He felt an itch at the back of his neck, and changed his instinctual turn-around into a lazy side-side back stretch.

"Ahhh… that feels nice."

He walked for five more steps before suddenly turning around and looking up.

Silhouetted against the sunset, on top of a building, stood someone he couldn't quite make out. He could tell they were female, could see the curves and the inviting smile. The rest of her face was left in shadow. He could see her long, vibrant hair blowing in the wind, but couldn't make out any other distinct features. He blinked slowly, deliberately, and was completely unsurprised to see her gone when he reopened his eyes.

But as soon as he could tell that he was no longer being watched, his hand shot up to his mouth as he started to giggle uncontrollably. That shifted to laughing, into outright cackling. He didn't say anything out loud, because that would jinx it, but in his mind he was patting himself on the back.

 _There's only one girl I know with red hair like that, and that only can mean one thing. Rias-senpai's route has become available! Issei, your time has come you glorious bastard!_


End file.
